Biblical Criticism & History Forum - earlywritings.com

ARGUMENT FROM CHATTER
(1) If lots of people talk about something, it must be real.
(2) Lots of people talk about Jesus.
(3) Therefore, Jesus existed.

The argument that lies beneath every argument:
1. Jesus existed.
2. Therefore, Jesus existed.

Argument from Zen masters:
1. Jesus didn't exist.
2. Therefore, Jesus existed.

Argument from History of Science:
1. Most ancient scientists once believed that the luminiferous aether existed.
2. Most ancient scientists once believed that phlogiston existed.
3. Most ancient scientists once believed that the vital force existed.
4. Most ancient scholars once believed that Jesus existed.
5. Luminiferous aether, phlogiston, and vital force, are no longer taken seriously by scientists.
6. Scientists are crap: they are always changing their minds whenever new theories explain the facts better than old theories.
7. Therefore, ahem, Jesus existed.

ARGUMENT FROM INTERVIEW WITH SATAN
(1) Satan: "Ya know, I'm sick and tired of Atheists going around telling people that Me and Jesus didn't exist and I would really like to show them a thing or two except I can't, because I don't exist."
(2) Therefore, Jesus existed.

ARGUMENT FROM THE IMPOSSIBILITY OF CERTAINTY
(1) In history, we are not looking for apodictic certainty but rather mere probability.
(2) It is not an apodictic certainty that Jesus existed.
(3) It is not probable that Jesus did not exist.
(4) Therefore, it is probable but not certain that Jesus existed.
(5) Therefore, Jesus existed.

Argument from the Calendar

1. The current year,2014, is based upon the number of years since the birth of Jesus.
2. Therefore, Jesus existed.

ARGUMENT FROM THE JEFFERSON BIBLE
(1) Take a Gospel.
(2) Remove all of the Impossible.
(3) Leave the implausible, unlikely, contrived, edited, copied, contradicted and unknown.
(4) Take what's left as Gospel.
(5) Therefore, Jesus existed.