Proofs That Jesus Existed

[Rick Sumner]

ARGUMENT FROM THE JESUS SEMINAR
(1) Take a Gospel.
(2) Remove all of the Impossible.
(3) Leave the implausible, unlikely, contrived, edited, copied, contradicted and unknown.
(4) Throw some colored beads around.
(5) Say "That's Jesus!"
(6) Take what's left as Gospel.
(7) Therefore, Jesus existed.

[arnoldo]

1. If Jesus didn't exist then mythicists are right.
2. Mythicists can't be right.
3. Therefore,Jesus existed.

[JoeWallack]

ARGUMENT FROM COUSIN IT ANALOGY
(1) Put the original Gospel on a pedestal.
(2) Cut out all of the Impossible.
(3) Cut out all of the implausible and unlikely.
(4) Cut out all of the contrived and contradicted.
(5) Cut out all of the paralleled to The Jewish Bible, Paul and Josephus.
(6) There's an equally famous episode of The Addams Family where Cousin It gets a haircut and when they finish there is nothing left.
(7) According to The Addams Family Cousin It still existed.
(8) Therefore, Jesus existed.

[spin]

1. I work at a university.
2. The donors who fund my faculty are conservative christians.
3. They do not like anything that challenges their worldviews.
4. They will not fund anything that challenges them.
5. If I challenge them, they will not fund me.
6. I like my job.
7. I like having it.
8. Therefore, Jesus existed.

[Blood]

Or to put it more succinctly:

1. I like having a job
2. Therefore, Jesus existed

[stevencarrwork]

Some of the Gospels have words in Aramaic.

Jesus spoke Aramaic.

Therefore, Jesus existed (HT Bart Ehrman)

[Andrew]

Argument from Conversion:

1) Lots of hard-core atheists have converted to Christianity.
2) Christians believe Jesus existed.
3) Let's forget about the Christians who became atheists and agnostics.
4) Therefore, Jesus existed.

[spin]

1. Jesus was either a liar, lord, or lunatic
2. Hey, we've exhausted the options.
3. If Jesus was a liar, by considering if he was a liar, you show he existed.
4. If Jesus was a lunatic,... he existed.
5. If Jesus was a lord,... he existed.
6. What can I say? Whichever way you go, he existed.
7. Therefore, Jesus existed.

[JoeWallack]

ARGUMENT FROM CREATIONISTS ANALOGY
(1) Creationists start with the conclusion that evolution did not exist.
(2) Creationists ignore all the evidence that evolution existed.
(3) Creationists think that scientists are lying when they say evolution existed.
(4) Mythicists are just like Creationists.
(5) Therefore, Jesus existed.

Uhmm, on further review the above is not satire, it is literally an argument of Professor James McGrath. Apologies. Peter, please move to the appropriate Thread.

[JoeWallack]

ARGUMENT FROM MO CASEY
(1) MJ has no historical methodology to prove that Jesus did not exist
(2) I have historical methodology to prove that Jesus existed
(3) I'm not going to tell you what my historical methodology is
(4) Since you do not know what my historical methodology is, you can not disprove it
(5) Therefore, Jesus existed.