Proofs That Jesus Existed

Discussion about the New Testament, apocrypha, gnostics, church fathers, Christian origins, historical Jesus or otherwise, etc.
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Peter Kirby
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Re: Proofs That Jesus Existed

Post by Peter Kirby »

ARGUMENT FROM CHATTER
(1) If lots of people talk about something, it must be real.
(2) Lots of people talk about Jesus.
(3) Therefore, Jesus existed.
"... almost every critical biblical position was earlier advanced by skeptics." - Raymond Brown
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spin
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The safety in numbers argument

Post by spin »

  1. Over two billion people believe that Jesus is real.
  2. They can't all be wrong. (The possibility is so astronomically low that they are all wrong, so we can functionally negate it.)
  3. Therefore, Jesus existed.
Dysexlia lures • ⅔ of what we see is behind our eyes
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Gorit Maqueda
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Re: Proofs That Jesus Existed

Post by Gorit Maqueda »

The argument that lies beneath every argument:
1. Jesus existed.
2. Therefore, Jesus existed.
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Gorit Maqueda
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Re: Proofs That Jesus Existed

Post by Gorit Maqueda »

Argument from Zen masters:
1. Jesus didn't exist.
2. Therefore, Jesus existed.
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Gorit Maqueda
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Re: Proofs That Jesus Existed

Post by Gorit Maqueda »

Argument from History of Science:
1. Most ancient scientists once believed that the luminiferous aether existed.
2. Most ancient scientists once believed that phlogiston existed.
3. Most ancient scientists once believed that the vital force existed.
4. Most ancient scholars once believed that Jesus existed.
5. Luminiferous aether, phlogiston, and vital force, are no longer taken seriously by scientists.
6. Scientists are crap: they are always changing their minds whenever new theories explain the facts better than old theories.
7. Therefore, ahem, Jesus existed.
Last edited by Gorit Maqueda on Sat Jan 04, 2014 8:16 am, edited 1 time in total.
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JoeWallack
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Re: Proofs That Jesus Existed

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ARGUMENT FROM INTERVIEW WITH SATAN
(1) Satan: "Ya know, I'm sick and tired of Atheists going around telling people that Me and Jesus didn't exist and I would really like to show them a thing or two except I can't, because I don't exist."
(2) Therefore, Jesus existed.
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spin
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Argument from another interview with Satan

Post by spin »

  1. Satan: "My greatest achievement was to make people believe that Jesus didn't exist."
  2. Therefore, Jesus existed.
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Peter Kirby
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Re: Proofs That Jesus Existed

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ARGUMENT FROM THE IMPOSSIBILITY OF CERTAINTY
(1) In history, we are not looking for apodictic certainty but rather mere probability.
(2) It is not an apodictic certainty that Jesus existed.
(3) It is not probable that Jesus did not exist.
(4) Therefore, it is probable but not certain that Jesus existed.
(5) Therefore, Jesus existed.
"... almost every critical biblical position was earlier advanced by skeptics." - Raymond Brown
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Re: Proofs That Jesus Existed

Post by arnoldo »

Argument from the Calendar

1. The current year,2014, is based upon the number of years since the birth of Jesus.
2. Therefore, Jesus existed.
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JoeWallack
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Re: Proofs That Jesus Existed

Post by JoeWallack »

ARGUMENT FROM THE JEFFERSON BIBLE
(1) Take a Gospel.
(2) Remove all of the Impossible.
(3) Leave the implausible, unlikely, contrived, edited, copied, contradicted and unknown.
(4) Take what's left as Gospel.
(5) Therefore, Jesus existed.
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