Alexander of Abonutichus

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lpetrich
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Alexander of Abonutichus

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Alexander of Abonoteichus (or Abonutichus)
Paphlagonia is at the central north coast of what's now Turkey. Abonutichus got renamed Ionopolis, and it's now Inebolu.
Alexander of Abonoteichus (Ancient Greek: Ἀλέξανδρος ὁ Ἀβωνοτειχίτης), also called Alexander the Paphlagonian (c. 105-c. 170 CE), was a Greek mystic and oracle, and the founder of the Glycon cult that briefly achieved wide popularity in the Roman world. The contemporary writer Lucian reports that he was an utter fraud – the god Glycon was supposedly constructed out of a glove puppet. The vivid narrative of his career given by Lucian might be taken as fictitious but for the corroboration of certain coins of the emperors Lucius Verus and Marcus Aurelius[1] and of a statue of Alexander, said by Athenagoras to have stood in the forum of Parium.
Lucian of Samosata's biography of him is our only detailed source on AoA, and AoA comes across as a charlatan in it.

The original Greek: Αλέξανδρος ή Ψευδομάντις - Βικιθήκη
Translations:
1: Lucian - Alexander the Oracle-Monger
2: Lucian of Samosata : Alexander the False Prophet, Lucian: Alexander the False Prophet

He started off his career by finding an egg in an under-construction temple's foundation, an egg that a baby reptile hatched from. A few days later, the reptile grew into a full-sized snake with a human head, and AoA showed it off in a darkened room. AoA described this as the god Glycon, associated with Apollo and Asclepius.

He announced that the god would be answering questions from people. All they had to do is send him sealed envelopes with questions and the god would compose oracle responses inside those envelopes without breaking the seals. He did a big business in thus, with LoS claiming that it included blackmailing some of his richer clients. "Pay me some big sum of money or I'll reveal what you told me." His fame spread across the Empire, with people from all over sending him requests.

He also delivered special spoken oracle responses to Very Important People. Like to Severinus about invading Armenia:
“Armenia, Parthia, cowed by thy fierce spear,
To Rome, and Tiber's shining waves, thou com'st
Thy brow with leaves and radiant gold encircled.”
“Under your charging spear shall fall Armenians and Parthi;
Then you shall fare to Rome and the glorious waters of Tiber
Wearing upon your brow the chaplet studded with sunbeams.”
But when he was miserably defeated, the record of that oracle was changed to
“Vex not th' Armenian land; it shall not thrive;
One in soft raiment clad shall from his bow
Launch death, and cut thee off from life and light.”
“Better for you that your forces against Armenia march not,
Lest some man, like a woman bedight, despatch from his bowstring
Grim death, cutting you off from life and enjoyment of sunlight.”
(the two translations together)


Naturally, AoA had no love of skeptics, like Epicureans. When asked how Epicurus was doing in Hades, he responded "Slime is his bed, his ankle chains are lead." (my version)

When AoA started religious ceremonies, he'd demand that atheists and Epicureans and Christians depart. He'd announce "Get out, Christians!" and the crowd would respond "Get out, Epicureans!" (my versions)

He would sometimes reveal that he had a golden thigh, just like what Pythagoras had had.

Although he warned his followers against having sex with boys, he would seduce both teenage boys and women.

When he came across a copy of Epicurus's Principal Doctrines, he burned it and dumped its ashes in the sea. "Burn, burn, burn, creed of a senile geezer" (my version)

Roman Emperor Marcus Aurelius himself once asked AoA for advice during his battles with some Germanic tribes, the Marcomanni and the Quadi.
“To rolling Ister, swoln with Heaven's rain,
Of Cybelean thralls, those mountain beasts,
Fling ye a pair; therewith all flowers and herbs
Of savor sweet that Indian air doth breed.
Hence victory, and fame, and lovely peace.”
“Into the pools of the Ister, the stream that from Zeus taketh issue,
Hurl, I command you, a pair of Cybele’s faithful attendants,
Beasts that dwell on the mountains, and all that the Indian climate
Yieldeth of flower and herb that is fragrant; amain there shall follow
Victory and great glory, and welcome peace in their footsteps.”
His troops threw two lions into the Danube, and they swam to the other side. But the Germanic troops soon clubbed them to death. They were the ones who won the great victory, with the Roman side losing some 20,000 troops and then almost losing the city of Aquileia.

When AoA was asked about this, he said that the god had not said who would have the great victory. LoS noted how it was like a similar excuse by the Oracle of Delphi about its famous prediction for King Croesus.

AoA got into "night oracles", in which he'd sleep on them and give responses that he'd get in dreams. But they would often be confused and incoherent, and AoA would charge big sums for interpreting them.

He got some questions in Gaulish or Syrian, but it would take a long time to respond to them.

To a Scythian he responded
“Morphi ebargulis for night
Chnenchicrank shall leave the light.”
“Morphen eubargoulis eis skian chnechikrage leipsei phaos.”
When LoS asked if AoA is bald, he responded
“Sabardalachu malach Attis was not he.”
“Sabardalachou malachaattealos en.”
LoS asked AoA twice: "Where was Homer born?" The first time he described as requesting a cure for lung trouble. He got back:
“Cytmide and foam of steed the liniment give.”
“Cytmis I bid you apply, combined with the spume of a charger.”
The second time he described as whether to go to Italy by land or by sea. He got back:
“Fare not by sea; land travel meets thy need.”
“Make not your journey by sea, but travel afoot by the highway.”
Others also suspected AoA of being a fraud, and they and LoS sent him more such fake questions.

But AoA had enough of a following to convince the Emperor to change the name of his hometown from Abonutichus to Ionopolis. He also claimed that he got an oracle message stating that he'd live to be 150 and then be struck by lightning. But instead, before reaching 70, the flesh of one of his legs died and became maggot-infested. When he died, it turned up that he was hiding his baldness with a wig.
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